What WAS I Thinking

The road leading to a goal does not separate you from the destination;

it is essentially a part of it. ~Charles DeLint

Against my better judgement, or at least it feels that way right now, in three days I will be immersing my body and soul in a 21-day cleanse. I have a small list of forbidden foods to avoid and a huge list of nature's edibles to choose from. Sounds super easy right? Unfortunately, that small little list of forbiddens contains three of my substantial vices - Coffee, Cigarettes, and Wine (all alcohol).

What WAS I thinking when I decided to do this? Let's take a little step back, say, three weeks ago, when I woke up with a rash on my chin. Lovely, I know. As the week drew to a close, the rash had spread so I headed out to the doctor and was given a diagnoses of exzema. Armed with new hope and a handful of medical creams I began a new week slathering medications on my face and sleeping on my back to avoid smearing it all over my pillows. Much to my disappointment the rash did not leave. Then my underarms started itching. Folks, it is not funny, especially when you're in a meeting at work and you know everyone's staring at your rash and you're trying to subtly scratch your armpits. After giving my co-workers the heebie jeebies, I decided to step my treatment up a notch. I went to see my naturopath. After a lengthy visit of questions and answers, it was agreed upon that I was what they call 'toxic'. My rash was just a symptom of a body overflowing with carcinogens.

Sometimes I wish I didn't speak before thinking but that's just what I did. I asked the doc about doing a cleanse and he thought it was a brilliant idea. So much that he immediately put together a plan for me to detoxify my rancid insides that would take no less than 21 full days. I've always wanted to do full body cleanse but I've never been able to stick to it for more than a day. What WAS I thinking!!! However, this time, it appeared I didn't really have a choice. This rash was going nowhere and beside my armpits itching like crazy, who knows what bodily orifice I'd be itching next. I wasn't even going to go there so like a trooper, I hauled my ass to the grocery store today and stocked up on food the gods meant for us to eat. I made a tidy little menu of breakfasts, lunches and dinners for the week, along with healthy snacks. My fridges and cupboards got a cleanse themselves so that when I put in all the new food, I would have nothing to tempt me during my low points of the cleanse, of which I know there will be many. I know myself too well.

The food is all stuff I love - chicken halibut, soy milk, rice, loads of vegetables, fruits, almond butters, cashews and other healthy fats. There's a hitch... isn't there always! No alcohol, tobacco or cafeine. I'm not sure which of three will be harder to live without but right at this moment, I'm tempted to say it will be coffee. I'm not caffeine addicted but I salivate every morning as my coffee brews, inhaling it's rich scent, tasting it even before I take my first sip. My green tea is stocked up but I did buy decaf coffee. Just to get me through the initial weaning period.

I have one more day to enjoy my freedom to eat whatever I choose. I've already ate a huge burger last night, gorged on pancake and eggs this morning, ate donuts for lunch and chinese food for dinner. Let's just say although I'm satisfied, I feel full and clogged now. Which should leave me in a much better mindset for Monday morning, when the detoxification process begins.

Why am I sharing this with you? Well, for one, I must vent my fustrations daily. Hmmm, can I write without a glass of wine next to me? We'll see. But I do want you to experience this with me, come with me as I journey through different metaphysical phases and physical changes. As I begin to feed my overextended stomache with nature's wild bounty, my goal is to turn the core of my being into a soul belly. Somehow, I have this intuitive sense that it's going to be quite a ride. So, hop on and let's get this started, before I change my mind...!