Day 21 - Finito, Finished, Done, Over, Complete, Concluded

When people say to me: "How do you do so many things?"

I often answer them, without meaning to be cruel: "How do you do so little?"

It seems to me that people have vast potential.

Most people can do extraordinary things if they have the confidence or take the risks.

Yet most people don't.

They sit in front of the telly and treat life as if it goes on forever.

~Philip Adams

Arriving at one goal is the starting point to another.

~John Dewey

Detox is over and done with. What a feeling of freedom. A freedom of choice to eat what I wish once again. To celebrate, I made a steaming pot of beef stew and shared it with my neighbors along with a bottle of wine. I also enjoyed a bit of coffee ice cream for dessert. Ok fine, I ate the whole pint but I didn't have breakfast or lunch so I think I was in the clear ok?

General Highs:
My chin rash is just about to disappear into oblivion and my face has never been so clear. The underarms appear to have recovered from constant itching. My hip, which is prone to arthritic tendencies and the culprit of many sleepless nights, has ceased to continually ache. Knock on wood but I haven't had a headache the whole time. I'm off caffeine completely and my pants are looser. My mind is clear and I feel more at ease. I can also get a killer buzz off of just 1 beer or 1 glass of wine - cheap date I am now!

General Lows:
I'm thinking that the chin rash is related to an egg sensitivity. Which is fine, I'm not a huge egg fan it's just that it happens to be an ingredient in a lot things I like. But I can live with that.

What I love about this detox is that it brought me full circle, alighting finally and once again, on the very same spot I was rooted firmly to for years. The same spot that I so willingly abandoned for a time. What I'm talking about is reclaiming my good eating habits. In the past, if I was hungry, I never reached for a piece of cake. Instead, I made my self a half a sandwich with hummus and sprouts or ate a banana. I never ate until I was full and any splurges were made of things like a small handful of carob chips, a soy mocha with no whip, or a dark chocolate bar with nuts and dried fruits.

But over time I left that spot more and more until finally, I never came back and my memories vanished with time. So in living through 21 days of this detox and adhering mostly to it, I found my way back in addition to my memories and knowledge of health being restored. It's interesting how the society of today's food can completely absorb your whole being into oblivious eating habits - being completely unaware of where our food comes from, who grows it, how do they grow it, how does its manufacturing or farming practices affect other humans, animals and habitats, how far it travels to get to the grocery store, and by the time it hits our dinner tables - how much nutrition is actually left in it. Once I became aware of the answers to those questions, I became more wary of the food of society. Lucky for me, I am growing up in a changing world. A world that now brings to the forefront these food questions and issues and allows me to make better food choices. Not just for the health of the environment or the support of locally grown food but also for the health of my mind, body and soul - my soul belly. So in the words of Doug Larson - "Establishing goals is all right if you don't let them deprive you of interesting detours", -I vow right here and right now to not stray too long again, but of course will be absolutely sure to enjoy a treat now and again that is not a part of the better good, but those will be limited and rare.

So yes, I struggled at times with this detox, sometimes being unwilling to budge from my old habits. But all in all, I'm proud of myself for sticking to it. I summoned courage, creativity, support and willpower when I needed it most. And now that I've reached this goal, I have many more visions of my future that I want to reach now. So I will use this blog from here on out to keep you posted and to keep me honest and on track with new goals that I will pursue. Thank you for your support and humor during these 21 days! Here's wishing you a happy soul belly!

Day 20 - Happy Hour

I officially ended my cleanse today - 1 day early.  It's the weekend and I needed to get my grocery list planned for the week.  No, not excuses, I'm just done.  Tomorrow, on Day 21 - the official end date, I will treat you to a 'what have I learned' post but for today is just for fun. 

Highs:
The highs today were all about the food.  We went out to breakfast this morning and I had french toast, decaf coffee and bacon.  The french toast was soooo sweet I almost couldn't eat it but it was so yummo at the same time, that I had no problem cleaning my plate.  Later my husband bought me a stumptown triple americano - all decaf, of course.  About 4pm, I decided it was happy hour.  I mean most bars have happy hour starting at 4pm so I figured I was quite in line.  Plus, like my mom says, 'It's happy hour somewhere!'.  My sister stopped by on her way to dinner so it was the perfect excuse to break out a bottle of wine.  Later, dinner was a Carls Junior Famous Star without the cheese and no, I did not have any fries. 

It was also seriously fun to grocery shop today.  I planned our week's menu to perfection but I still stayed within some pretty good guidelines.  This week's dinners will be made-from-scratch crock pot creations full of vegetables and organic meats.  Lunches will be smoothies mixed with juices, bananas, maca and protein powders.  Breakfast will still be decaf coffee with soy and a bowl of blueberries.  So I didn't go crazy and that's what I'm trying to say.  I've learned that at least. 

My armpits haven't itched for a few days and my face rash is getting better.  You can barely see it although it is still there.  Which I take that to mean that I still need to be very aware of my food choices for a while coming.

Lows:
It's April and it's still rainy and cold.  Which really pisses me off.  I love winters here even though they are long and gray.  But when April comes and we still haven't seen the sun for more than a half hour every week, I start to get antsy.  This is the time of year that I do soul gardening - weeding, pruning, planting, mulching.  But I guess that will have to wait until spring gets strong enough to bust through winter.  So what I'm sayin here is, being stuck in the house has me stir crazy and makes me want to go to the fridge every 20 minutes. 

All in all though, I can get over myself and will go enjoy the Blazer game that is just now starting.  See ya tomorrow for the detox finale.

Day 19 - A Cause for Celebratin'

Well my friends, this cleanse is comin to a close.  Two more days and I start a new journey.  A journey of new found awareness, fresh health, and a more positive outlook.  So to celebrate my slow emergence back into the world of delicious, gourmet food choices, I decided to do a little celebratin. 

The weather has been just shitty.  It really has.  Cold, non stop rain, wind and dark stormy evenings.  Just the thing for an evening home with holy rolin' appetizers, a bottle of red happiness and three movies.  I was starved when I went out to pick up these Friday nite goodies.  But I still was able to leave the market with a bag full of carefully thought out food choices.  When I got home, I prepared the most amazing dish of appertifs.  I sliced up brie and gouda cheeses along with thinly sliced pastrami, wheat-free potatoe pitas, hummus, olives, crackers, apples and strawberries.  Along the sides of the dish I decorated with tiny lemon poppy seed muffins.  I served all this and a bottle of red zinfandel to my husband and I.  We ate in an almost shared silence except for the 'mmmmms'  and the 'ooooohs' and the sipping of good wine.  I stopped before I was full and corked the bottle of wine. 

After our friend Bob stopped by for a bit, I'm now gettin ready to settle in for a movie.  I don't think I had any lows today.  So, yeah, I strayed a little on the cleanse, but the way I see it, I have to ease my way back in to the life of food and this was a good test that I believe I passed. 

I plan to taste test a couple of things tomorrow too.  And I'm hoping that my fresh palate stays with me so that I never again try to fulfill my soul belly with anything unworthy again.

Day 18 - Trashed

Oh man, I was just trashed today.  I got to bed late and of course woke up rushing around again - story of my life!  At work I was so dang tired.  Every part of me wanted to run downstairs and get a big ole caffeinated cup of coffee.  But I with-held.... until 3pm when I treated myself to a green tea latte with soy.  I had to have some sort of jump start.  I was frickin falling asleep.  I have never been able to do well with less than 8-10 hours of sleep.  Lame ass I am, I know.  So I guess that was my lows for the day.  Which is good because that's a high too.  I resisted temptation to jolt myself awake with coffee.  Big step.  Really really big step for me and my love of a steamin hot cup of joe. 

I also resisted temptation once again later that evening.  When I returned home from work I was greeted with an invitation to join my aunt-n-law and cousin-n-law for dinner... at a pizza parlour.  A joint where they serve old time pizza and you sit next to a giant stuffed grizzly bear named fuzzy wuzzy and a basket ball game is on next to the circus  mirror that distorts you into a thousand little pieces.  What I"m sayin is I love that place.  They have a salad bar but who wants to go out for pizza and then not have any?  And what is pizza without beer?  I mean seriously folks.  So that was enough for me to politely decline and stay home and cook up some tofu, spinach and garlic - wahoo.  But I can say tonite that I'm once again proud of my will power, of which I had none when I started this cleanse. 

Unfortunately, I have no will power to stay awake any longer so peace out my friends.

Day 17 - Game Time

What a day, I'm seriously buzzing with excitement and it's late so I have to write fast so I can go to bed! 

Lows:
Everything started out missing a beat.  I woke up late, made my coffee to weak, rain was pouring from the sky, and I had no clean clothes.  I wasn't going to be home until late so I packed a bag with a change of clothes right before I flew out the door. 

Highs:
But once I got settled at work, the day became my friend again. The sun even showed itself for about a half a minute.


After work my sister met me downtown.  We shared a big pear gorgonzola salad topped with sugared walnuts.  Probably shouldn't have had the cheeze and walnuts, but hey, I still made a smart eating choice.  AFter we finished eating,  it was off to the Blazer game for us.  Little did I know my sister had never been to a game.  Well this was gonna be fun!  We arrived at the stadium and bought ourselves each a nice big glass of pale ale, got seated and settled in for a night of ball.  As we watched the game and chatted through out, we had the hankering for popcorn so we went in search of a vendor.  When we finally spotted one, we found ourselves in sticker shock.  Almost 7 bucks for a bag of popcorn.  Well, we decided against it and once again, my detox was saved (minus the beer part!).  We ended up winning the game by like 40 points and left high from the excitement of knowing we had clinched our playoff spot, not to mention my most favorite player of all time (Brian Grant, of course) did an interview during halftime! 
 
It was fun to splurge a little.  In regards to my detox, I'm learning to be completely aware of my food choices.  I contemplate if I should indulge or not.  And sometimes I do end up indulging.   But I just like that I'm not blindly following my tastebuds and cravings anymore.  I've heard somewhere that it takes 3 weeks to break a habit.  Well, it's taken me 3 weeks to do not just that but to gain a good new habit at the same time.  It's progress I tell you.  I"m making progress towards my soul belly!

Day 16 - Busy

It definitely helps to be busy - in the sense that I don't really need to eat as much or linger too long on what I want to eat.  I had to leave work early today to take my dog to the vet.   In between that and trying to get a book finished that I'm reading, I didn't even eat my lunch until 4.  So now it's 7:30 and I'm still full!  No dinner for me tonight.  Although I am contemplating a double vodka on the rocks with a twist.... 

Day 15 - What Lies Ahead

So it's back to eating from all the food groups for the next 6 days - proteins, starches, veggies, fruits and fats. I'm starting to think about my future and all that lies ahead in eating after this cleanse is over. Like when I go to restaurants what will I order now?  Trust me, I shall never ever forgo the food that I love. You will, and I repeat, will find me once in a while ordering up a big fat mocha perk shake at burgerville or ordering some fantastic breakfast scramble that ways like 8 pounds and includes a side of pancakes. But the majority of the time, I can't do that, especially if I want to maintain my recently cleansed system. As far as taste testing new food on this cleanse, I'm learning what things I like and what I don't . I frickin love rice flour and fava bean flour. It makes the best biscuits and bread. I do NOT like not having alcohol.

Highs:
Lunch was sprouted greens and olive oil with tuna and homemade gluten/egg/dairy free bread - thanks to my sister's baking skills! It totally filled me up b/c I haven't been eating much bread. I brought blueberries, banana and apples to munch on but I never could eat those being full all day from lunch.  Because of cost saving measures and budgetary restrictions, dinner was leftover chili and tofu dogs which is OK and actually tastes good even the second time around.

Lows:
I got heartburn for the first time in 15 days.  I didn't have any tums either so I had to have a small glass of milk as it's the only thing that soothes it.  So that was the first dairy I've had at all.  But the heartburn went away and it left me churning over why in the heck I got it in the first place.  Maybe it was the bread.  I've hardly had any bread at all and I ate more today in my lunch - probably because my sister's homemade bread rocks and I couldn't get enough of it. 

So, this is good. in a way.  I'm learning not to overdo it.  Word to the wise - when the cleanse is over, I can either buy a bottle of tums to go along with my post-cleanse binge, or I can ease into it slowly, taste testing all my long lost forbidden foods. 

Day 14 - Blur

Today was blurry. I don't remember much. We stayed up super late last night sitting by the fire with friends. Then I got up way too early.

Highs:
I can tell you that although I was sleepy enough to sleep 14 days straight, I still had decaf coffee and homemade gluten/egg/dairy free biscuits with blueberries and raspberries for breakfast. Super yummo. I think I have a way better outlook on this than I did the first 7 days of this cleanse. I'm not freaking out anymore about boringness. In fact, I had a great time planning my menu for the week and it includes a bit more variety and creativity. After I got my typical Sunday tasks completed, I took like a 5 hour nap, only to awake and find out it was early evening. I got up so late from my nap that it was dinner time and I was freakin starving. However, I'm proud to say that I patiently cooked my dinner and avoided munching on crap. I made veggie chili with tofu dogs. It was a super nice change of taste.

Lows:
I think I may have been a little hungover from the two beers I had late last night. I don't feel bad about it though. It was a lovely spring night and I nursed them to their fullest potential.

Day 13 - Partay

Saturday morning arrived with sun!  What is it with weekends and sun!  I love this.  It motivates me to be good.  After a walk with the dogs we headed over to my sisters house for my nephew's 2nd birthday party - a morning brunch. 

Highs:
Luckily for me, my sister is well educated on matters of dietary habits.  Her son is food sensitive and she is working right now to develop a diet that will work for him that excludes eggs, wheat and dairy.  Plus her culinary skills are way better than mine so I knew she'd be whipping up some healthy delights.  All in all I did really good at the party.  I made myself an espresso and added rice milk (with caffeine ok, but I was tired so give me a break).  Then I enjoyed a millet avacado lime salad, bananas, sweet potatoes with a little local bacon and a gluten free (but not egg -free) carrot cake cupcake.  It was delish and delightful to taste new things.  My sis also made me my own special loaf of gluten-dairy-egg free home made bread!  It was so good that it was almost sinful.   I ate it with vegan butter which rocked.

Lows:
Confession time.  I also popped two chocolate chip muffins into my mouth.  It was by chance I assure you.  I was walking by laughing when they caught my eye.  I opened my mouth and they just popped right in.  Unfortunately they had eggs in them so we'll see if I will pay later for that.  I also enjoyed a lovely raspberry orange smoothie.  It was so good I had three glasses.  I learned later that the smoothies had champagne in them which could have been why I felt so good all of a sudden.  But hey, we all make mistakes right and I'd say this was quite an innocent one.

I'm not having dinner tonight because I'm actually still quite full from that late breakfast indulgence (could it be that my stomache is shrinking?).  I decided to have a beer instead.  Don't be gettin on me now.  I deserve it.  I'm doing really well and I just planned out my menu for this week and it's stock full of healthy goodness.  I'm proud of my will power and I don't think a beer is going to throw the whole detox thing to shit.  I mean seriously.  I need to partay a little.  The weather rocks and I wanna rock.  So cheers and we'll talk more tomorrow.

Day 12 - On My Own

It was my day off today and I was home alone and on my own.  Luckily for me there was nothing much in the fridge or cupboards so I stayed in line. 

Highs:
After a long walk with the dogs, I enjoyed fresh brewed decaf coffee with soy and then proceeded to finish my book while lazing on the couch with the dogs.  I can eat today but I didn't feel much like it and figured I oughtta be careful to make up for my sins yesterday.  I hung out with my parents in the afternoon.  My dad has this habit of bringing me his famous homemade margaritas when he visits.  They never last long but I dutifully put them in our freezer and covered them up with frozen veggies and a bag of ice - therefore - I was thinking - outta sight, outta mind.  Which worked but I swear I heard my name being called many times that afternoon.  I was sure it was coming from the freezer. 

Lows, I don't think so:
I don't know if I really had any lows today.  I was more at peace b/c I could eat finally.  I made a great tofu veggie dish for dinner while I watched my husband eat pizza.  Oh baby baby, I miss pizza.  We sat by a fire for the better part of the evening and enjoyed late night company of my sister.  I even made her hot tea when she arrived which was not our usual M.O.  Usually it's a big bottle of wine that we have no problem downing together.  However, she went along with it and seemed to enjoy the tea.

I stayed up way too late tonight so I'm gonna go crash now.

Day 11 - Experimenting

Last day of liquids only today and I did a little experimenting.  It was not pre-meditated, I assure you that.  But we'll get to that part in a minute.

Highs:
I feel so good.  I'm not jumpy, antsy, or twitchy; and on the other spectrum - I"m not tired, foggy, or lacking for energy.  No, not at all and I attribute that to my lack of caffeine.  I knew that's what would happen as I've kicked the caffeine addiction once before in the distant past. That was back when I figured out that if I needed a jolt to stay away for like a road trip or something, in that case I could have a fully caffeinated cup of coffee.  Plus, the buzz you get is awesome when you have your first dose of caffeine.  It must be like a drug addict trying a new drug for the first time.  But the good times never last and you spend the next days of your life trying to get that same high but it's just never like the first time.   So let's just say, I'm learning to love my decaf coffee.

Lows:
About 4pm yesterday, my body had a little conversation with itself.  My stomache told my brain that I needed to munch on something.  My brain for once agreed and told my body to go see what the store downstairs had that would be acceptable to eat.  My instincts then said hey, wait, today is a liquid day, you can't eat.  My brain then squashed my instinct to pieces and my body went down to the store and bought a handful of cashews that just happened to be covered in chocolate and then it gave them to my stomach.  I was powerless you see.  They did this all without me.  I tell you it was strange.

Let's get down to the experimentation part.  Tonight we headed out to the Blazer game.  I was so excited to go and watch people all around me eating popcorn, drinking wine, and munching on 2 foot long twizzlers.  Yeah, a lot of fun, I tell you.  I tried to focus on the game but I couldn't help thinking how rude it was of all these fans to eat in front of me.  Finally, I decided to experiment.  I bet I could get a killer buzz if I had a beer on what was a pretty much empty stomach.  Warren acquiesed and bought me a beer.  Oh, it was heavenly and I milked through the full 2nd quarter of the game.  At the same time, he also bought himself some nachos.  I allowed an experimental bite of those for myself - just two chips - you can ask him.  Then after half-time, he said he needed a snack, so I told him to get a bowl of ice cream, his body would thank him for that.  He fed me bite after bite.  The ice cream was so sweet.  After not having any sweets, I almost couldn't stomach the sweetness but trust me, I tried.  It was about 5 minutes after we finished the bowl, that I realized I hadn't had any milk or dairy for 11 days until now.  How weird milk tastes when you haven't had it in a while.  It's almost not palatable - the aftertaste part.  I even had this greasy film all over the inside of my mouth on my teeth, tongue and lips. 

Well, I think it was a good experiment because I decided right then and there that after this cleanse I will lay off the dairy as much as possible.  And the fake cheese all over the stale nacho chips really wasn't as good as I remember it.  I'm happy to report though that the highlight of my experimentation was the beer.  It was as good if not even better than I remember it.  I had the loveliest buzz for the rest of the game as I sat there in the stands with a shit eating grin on my face.  Sadly, the experiment is over and it's back down to business tomorrow morning.  The scientist in me must now go away.  I just hope that all of this scientific work doesn't start my armpits itching again!

Day 10 - Liquefied

After 2 protein drinks, lotsa water and a couple of glasses of different kinds of fruit and green vegetable juices, I am swimming in liquids. I've peed over 400 times today. Hunger was not of issue but my general whacky cravings were - like I couldn't get chocolate-covered cashews out of my mind for anything.

Lows:
Late afternoon hit me full force with a big kappow of sleepiness. Probably cuz it's so sunny and warm outside for the first time in a long ass time. I just wanted to curl up on one of those park benches outside and read my book in the lazy afternoon sun - which I did on my lunch but it just wasn't long enough and I didn't get a nap in.

Highs:
Well, the day is almost over. I made it through. I made a deal with my husband for these two days - I told him he has to cook his own dinner because I can't bare the sight of something delicious when all I get is liquids. I was hoping he'd agree to take his little frozen pizza to the neighbors to cook and eat tonight and tomorrow he'll eat fast food but dispose of all evidence before he comes back home! It sure makes the evenings seem longer when I don't spend the half of it cooking dinner. I mean, a protein shake takes 2 seconds to make and 1 minute to drink and then what?  Dare I say that my chin rash is teetering on the edge of disappearing?

Day 9 - Now I Get It

I will spare you the details of what I ate because it was exactly the same as last night, no deviation whatsoever. However, I will not call it boring anymore. At least not for today. I was more than thankful to eat my veggies for lunch because I was starving. And I shouldn't complain because that little voice from my childhood rang in my head today ...Just be thankful that you have food to eat because some kids in China don't... (I know, don't get me started.) So I humbled myself and ate the veggies, thanking the food gods for every bite.

Highs:
I'm gettin this man. When I'm hungry, I eat the food on my menu when before, my mind would immediately take me to where could I find something sweet and yummy to munch on and then my body would follow the sinful lead. That didn't happen today so I feel I've taken a big step - one that I didn't even know was there. My mind is really clear today too. I feel very present and not distracted and best of all, I feel energized. No need for a nap today. Never ever thought I'd say that.

A co-worker of mine returned from a trip to India today. She brought with her armloads of goodies from that magical continent. I told myself I would just try one little thing because how often is it one gets to taste test this kinda stuff. Luckily for me, I read the ingredients first on each item. Unfortunately, the first ingredient in every single thing was peanut oil. Which makes sense, I mean we are talking India here. Needless to say, I did not even taste one morsel because I am allergic to peanuts. I wouldn't have died or anything close to that but with all the willpower it's taken me to stay on track, the last repercussion I need from falling off the wagon is a big old peanut hangover headache - which is what happens to me when I partake of them. Call it fate, call it whatever, but I did not fall into temptation! Big high for me! Also, I'm not even sure if I should mention it - for fear it will happen again - but no matter, I must tell you that my armpits have not itched in 2 days. Yes, amazing!

Lows:
Let's just get this out in the open right now.  I'm going to have my coffee in the morning.  No-Matter-What.  It will be decaf but it will be coffee.  So from here on out, unless I mention it, just assume I allowed myself the luxury of sipping from the drink of the gods each morning.  I have to give that to myself.  And that's all I'm gonna say.   

So, about dinner.  I went without tonight.  Stomaching vegetables without anything else to dress it up was just too much for me.  I couldn't bring myself to even try.  So we can just say I got a head start for tomorrow by having myself a protein drink.  The new taste was delectable to my senses.

Well, it's my black lab's 4th birthday tonight and I promised him a long walk - anything to take my mind off food - so I"m outta here.  Latah...................

Day 8 - Boring blah blah blah

Remember, this detox can change your entire life, not just 21 days.

~Barb Renker

Lows:
Let's start out with the lows because that is how I am feeling.  It's raining veggies and fruits today - which is all I can eat for the next two days. Could it get anymore boring?  I'm so bored with eating.  It's no fun anymore.  There's only so many vegetables one can eat without adding anything fancy to the mix.  I mean, seriously, how long is it going to be until I can add my fav salad dressing to my salad with goat cheese and candied pecans.  I miss sweets.  I miss pasta.  I miss tacos.  And oh boy do I miss alcohol. I just want a teensy tiny little buzz.  That's all, am I asking for too much?

Food today was so ennui.  Breakfast today was coffee with soy. Half decaf because I needed some sort of pick me up. I wasn't all that hungry until about 11am when I ate a banana. Then 12:30 rolled around and I was starved so I heated up my lunch - steamed yams & sweet potatoes; and cooked spinach, garlic, onions and brussel sprouts. I figure if I am going to mac on veggies, they might as well be my favs. I was hungry around 4 so I ate blueberries and an apple and brewed up some herbal tea. Dinner was the same ole same ole - steamed cauliflour (excellent liver detoxifier) with garlic, bokchoy, onions and lots of turmeric and cumin.  I also made oven roasted sweet potatoe fries.  I could barely choke down dinner.  Is it that I'm actually looking forward to days 10 and 11 when I fill myself with water, juices and protein mixes?  Yes, at least that will be something new.

Highs:
I can't think of anything that was a high today.  Ok, fine, the sweet potatoes gave me that sense of having eaten dessert.  That's about it.  I do confess that I did have one other high.  The quote at the beginning of this post is from my sister who thought it her duty today to keep me keepin on.  She sent the quote to me as I was day dreaming about a cinnamon roll.  It set me straight alright.  Made me realize that I AM doing this for a reason.  And that all in all it's not really about the 21 days, it's about the rest of my life.  What I put in my mouth shapes me.  Which by now means I'm a big giant green vegetable!  Just kidding. 

More realistically now, I think that I just needed to be reminded that I should eat this way anyhow - at least the majority of the time.  All these foods, grown from fertile ground, near where I live - are the food of the gods.  Each damn vegetable and each damn fruit serves a specific purpose in my overall health.  It's just that I'd really can't wait to add a little gourmet to the blandness of this detox.  Yes, that is the problem.  I'm a gourmet girl.  I have exquisite tastes.  I don't just like a pizza. I like a pizza that has a hand tossed crust topped with tomatoe sauce made from home grown tomatoes the summer before, onions & spinach picked right from my garden, feta cheese from the local goat lady and olives imported from Italy.  And of course, I prefer to wash it all down with a really great bottle of locally made wine. 

So that's all it is, I'm just bored.  I need a cup of pizzazz added to my daily food intake.  Soon, very soon.  For now, I must focus and remember, this could, just maybe, change my life.

Day 7 - Snoozin

Well, the best way to get through day 7 was to sleep it away.  And that's just what I did.  The beautiful spring day that enlightened me yesterday was gone this morning.  In it's place was a steady warm rain.  Since my spring cold still had the best of me, I spent the morning reading on the couch.  After a while, I fixed a late breakfast - same as yesterday except I also had some rice and shine cereal.   Then, I couldn't help it, I got myself real comfortable on the couch with a pillow and a warm blanket and slept for a few hours. 

Highs:
Well, I had a long nap and that was exactly what I needed.  Plus, when I awoke, the clouds had almost disappeared and the sun was shining through.  That was the motivation I was looking for.  I got up and cooked my lunch for work and then it happened.  My stomache started rumbling.  I was hungry, desperately hungry.

Lows:
In response to my hunger, I allowed my husband to bring me dinner from Bjasural Vjlsairi.  What?  You didn't hear me?  Ok fine, I'll say it slower - b u r g e r  v i l l e.  There are you satisfied?  I was!  I ordered halibut and that's all I had.  Four pieces of halibut smothered in lemon.  Soooo delish.  I'm sure I could have gone without the fried part and the breading but hey, I didn't eat my fries.  Not even one. 

So all in all I didn't do too bad.  Plus, I just spent the last part of the evening outside next to a warm fire.  The next two days will be a challenge.  I can only eat vegetables and fruits.  More on that tomorrow though.  I just want to focus on now, on today.  Living each moment, each day at a time.  Catch ya tomorrow.

Day 6 - Spring Fever

I seem to have caught myself a little of the spring fever, in more ways than one.  Morning arrived warm with sunshine streaming in the windows.  But just as I was about to breathe a big sigh of relief at the beautiful day it was to be, I sneezed.  Then I sneezed again.  After laying in bed a little longer, I ended up having to get up because I was all clogged up.  It's doubtful it's allergies because I've never fallen victim to that side of spring.  I was really tired last night when I went to bed, almost to the point that I could have just stayed on the couch where I was and slept comfortably through the night.  So I woke up with a spring cold.  Nothing too miserable but nonetheless, I was dragging a bit.  My morning coffee had to be only half decaf - there was no way I would function today without.  Me?  Missing the first day of spring?  Hell no. 

Highs:
After a long walk with the dogs, I arrived home sweating and hungry.  Mind you, this is my first weekend day on this cleanse and that usually means I spend it getting a big stumptown latte and scone, or sometimes breakfast out at Wild Abandon.  But no leisurely late morning dining for me today.  Instead I warmed up a piece of rice-pecan bread and topped it with almond butter and blueberries (an delicious idea I stole from my sister). 

And after a few minutes of pulling together a new menu for the week,  off to grocery shopping I went.  It worked out good that I ate before I went because otherwise I"m sure I would have gone right off the detox path and into the delicious goodness of trader joes and limbos.  But no, I stuck to my list, except for one minor thing.  As I was at the check out counter buying some detox teas and such, I heard someone, no, it was someTHING calling my name.  When I looked a cute little cookie smiled and winked at me.  Of course I knew better but then it pointed to it's label - Amond Poppy Cookie - Gluten, Dairy & Sugar Free.  No frickin way.  After a scan of the ingredients, I determined it was made of rice and fava bean flour and sweetened up with fruitjuice, and it was made locally.  It was the most yummo treat for me.  I bought 2 and when I got home I popped a bite in Warren's mouth.  He loved it so I split it with him.  (Then I told him the ingredients!)  So, I didn't really veer off the path, I stayed within the terms of my cleanse.

As the unusually warm afternoon sun beamed, we had headed outside to recline on sunchairs for an late siesta.  My face now has a healthy glow to it.  Amazing what a little sun will do.  I skipped lunch because I got up so late but dinner was a bowl of veggie chili.  Nothing fancy but after I ate it I was full and felt satisifed, which is good because I was sure earlier that only a pizza delivered to my door would satiate me.
Not the case. 

Lows:
So I do have a dang cold but at least it's sunny.  I bet it's because my body is finally starting to let go of toxins.  Which I take as a good sign that this is working.  I"m not going 'without' for nothing.  Oh, yeah,  I also bought tofuttis and ate one.  At least it was dairy free.  I'm not so sure about the sugar part. 

So all in all, a lazy spring day and a good one at that.  I think I can do another weekend day tomorrow just fine as every detox day gets better in some ways.  Plus Warren's got our first spring fire goin in the backyard so I hate to say good bye, but hey, I gotta run!

Day 5 - Getting the Hang of This

Today was sort of a non-hungry day for me. It might have been because this morning as I was getting ready, I took a huge swig of coffee from a mug that happened to be a few days old.  Old coffee with old soy milk.  I almost hurled.  No matter,my stomach started growling around 10am so I ate a piece of rice bread with almond butter. Lunch time came and went and I didn't feel like eating but to avoid a binge freak out, I ate my bag off sliced apples. Late afternoon brought with it a bit of the end o' the week weariness so I armed myself with a super sized green tea.

Highs:
I didn't eat much yet didn't suffer from that at all.  Strange.  I'm usually more happy eating all day long.  Maybe I'm getting the hang of this.

Lows:
I really want a margarita.  I mean bad.  During downtime this evening I was flipping through a magazine.  I came across a recipe for the skinny drink of the month: A Light Margarita.  That's right.  And it's 196 calories FEWER than a regular margy.  Here's the recipe so you can go make one and tell me how you like it. I'm going to have one on day 22.  I cannot wait.  I might have a whole pitcher.  For now I'll just dream...

• shot of white tequila
• tiny splash of citrus or orange flavored liqueur
• splash club soda
• ice
• shake or stir; or put in a blender
• squeeze in juice of 4 lime wedges

Day 4 - Tasties and Temptations

The more you eat, the less flavor; the less you eat, the more flavor. ~Chinese Proverb

I'm finding that when I'm starving for my lunch that nothing has ever tasted so good as my leftover veggies and rice. And my little breakfast of almond butter and a small piece of rice bread was mouthwatering. Nourishment, that's all it should be but instead we pork ourselves full of crap every day. However, I am one for a bit of indulgence now and again, it's just that right now all I get to indulge in is healthy foods. And man are they tasting good lately and filling my belly.

Highs:
I'm feelin pretty good without the full-on caffeinated coffee. I think I've been able to avoid the headaches by easing off it little by little and substituting with strong ass green tea. I'm not really a cold turkey kinda girl. Take it slow, ease into the new routine. I think that's why I like this detox plan. It's true that it's a lot longer than most plans which is why I think I feel so comfortable with it.

Even Higher:
Oh yeah, my willpower got a big test tonight. My husband, probably sick of all the vegetables I've been cooking for dinner this week, announced that he wanted a burger for dinner. He asked me if I wanted anything. Of course I did. I wanted a big fat burger, a vat of fries and a chocolate shake. Oh and onion rings. But I worked up my courage and with a tiny, wavering, cowardly voice, I told him no thanks and that I was going to cook my dinner instead. Dangit. No burger for me tonight. But my dinner did turn out spectacular - rice penne pasta cooked with garlic, spinach, pine nuts and asparagus. Usually if my food is highly seasoned and very garlicky, I can manage ok. So at the end of the night, I did feel good to have dodged another temptation.

Lows:
If I could just remove my armpits... Itchy scratchy ugh.

Day 3 - Back on Track

Pardon my little veering off the detox trail. I'm back on track today and in full cleanse mode. Since my little indulgence last night, I decided to forgo breakfast. Since I was starving by 11am, I ate my lunch early - a salad with tuna, jicama, and olive oil/lemon dressing. It rocked and made me feel full...until 4pm when my stomache started to rumble. In response, I went to starbucks and got my green tea latte with soy - minus the syrup. It was so good and was appropriately a rich green hue - in honor of St. Pattys Day today.

Highs:
Dinner rocked.  I made veggies, chicken and rice with Yummy Sauce.  There's enough leftover for my lunch tomorrow.  I'm feeling very energized.  Plus I'm proud of myself because at work today, a co-worker handed me a HUGE cookie left over from a meeting.  I thanked her and then before I could argue with myself, I promptly handed it over to another co-worker.  After that I chewed a piece of gum and focused on my work until I forgot about that dang cookie. 

Lows:
Still had a few ciggys but not as much as in my pre-detox days, all 3 days of them.  Ha ha.  I also felt hungry today but most likely because I didn't pack any apples or cashews to munch on.  Note to self - always pack munchies.  It's also a beautiful day outside, perfect for sitting down with a cold green beer.  Ahhh the good old days.

Day 2 - Buzzorama

Today went great. I felt a lot better and not so tired. After a long morning hard walk up the mountain hills, I had my decaf and the same breakfast and lunch as yesterday. Even though I crave sugar like a maniac, I haven't had any at all. And we're talkin not just sweets and stuff - I haven't had any wheat (bread or pasta or pastries) or any sweeteners of any kind. That craving will go away eventually but all day I just wanted to run downstairs and buy a chocolate truffle and then hide in a bathroom stall while I savored every last piece of it. However, I made do.

Highs:
My digestive system is improving. If you catch my drift - I'm suddenly very regular and the sessions are short, sweet and to the point - and pretty much without aroma. Sorry, but I promised you the detailed truth and nothing but.... Another good thing is that my chin rash appears to be on it's way out the door. Still visible, it's either begun to run it's course or this diet is working - already! The armpits are another matter. The itch periodically and still at inopportune times. And yes, I have considered my deodorant, soaps, etc... - all of which I have not changed in a while. It's so strange and annoying.

How Low Can I Go:
Super low was this afternoon. I was craving a coffee but instead ordered a green tea latte with no sweeteners or flavorings. Unfortunately, at seattles best it comes pre-mixed and pre-sugared. So I got a boring old green tea and added soy to it. I think next time I'll walk my ass over to starbucks (of which I hate to frequent) to get me one because at least this commercial chain offers them unsweetened. So even lower, I still had some ciggys and a drink but let me do some explainin' here. I had a happy hour with my friends set up a month ago for tonight. But I did good. I only had a vodka martini and a slice of appetizer-sized pizza. As tempted as I was to get another drink, I declined. Po' me, couldn't get her buzz on. O well, soon, very soon! I'm being extra good tomorrow - cutting portions to make up for my small indescretions.

Day 1 - Sucky Suck Suck

Well, today went ok. I couldn't figure out why I woke up grumpy because last night I was rarin' to go and get this started. Anyways, I feel a little PMSish so that's probably it.

Highs:
I'm not at all hungry. I totally porked out but I did stay within the food guidelines. Breakfast began with 1/2 decaf-1/2 reg coffee with soy, a slice of rice bread (gluten, oat, sugar and egg free) with almond butter and a huge pile of sliced apples on top. It was sooo delish. Lunch was decadent as I enjoyed my favorite meal - a large bowl of sauteed tofu with cumin, tumeric, onions, spinach and garlic. Snack time came and went but I didn't indulge b/c I was too full. I have no idea why. Could it be that pint of coffee ice cream still sitting in my gut from last night?  Dinner was broiled fish with a garlicky lemon sauce and avacados.  Super delish.

Lows:
Late afternoon hit and I was so dang tired. No, I take that back - I've been tired all day long. I brewed up a huge cup of green matcha tea with TWO tea bags. I figured there's at least some caffeine in there right? It tasted fine and all but I about passed out when a co-worker walked in with a fresh cup of her afternoon coffee. Oh, the smell. It was so delectable. Cigs - well, I did ok. Late afternoon was my first one. Then a couple more tonight. Still, not bad.

Final Thoughts:
I hope I'm not dragging so much tomorrow. Mondays always suck and this one was daylight savings so we lost an hour of sleep, granted I did sleep till 11am Saturday morning and 10 am Sunday morning... but still.... Oh and yeah, I am reading one chapter a day of my most inspirational Buddhist teacher - Pema Chodron  - Start Where You Are. Her words seem to really fit with what I am doing. My sister Barb got me hooked on her. Also, apparently through the eyes of an astrologer - this week is an excellent time to re-vision my goals, try new things and get out of an old routine. So, I'll keep on keepin on.

Detox Eve

Soooooooooooooo, it's Detox Eve, the night before the cleanse begins.  I feel pretty good about it actually.  Maybe it's just that it's something new to look forward to.  It's like my obsession with re-arranging the furniture every once in a while - just to give a fresh look on things.  My breakfast and lunch are all packed.  My decaf coffee is ready to brew.  And right now I'm preparing to dine like a queen, savoring my last great feast.  There's a pizza in the oven and I'm starting things out with an appetizer of haagan daz coffee ice cream and a bottle of wine.  Goin out in style baby! 

What WAS I Thinking

The road leading to a goal does not separate you from the destination;

it is essentially a part of it. ~Charles DeLint

Against my better judgement, or at least it feels that way right now, in three days I will be immersing my body and soul in a 21-day cleanse. I have a small list of forbidden foods to avoid and a huge list of nature's edibles to choose from. Sounds super easy right? Unfortunately, that small little list of forbiddens contains three of my substantial vices - Coffee, Cigarettes, and Wine (all alcohol).

What WAS I thinking when I decided to do this? Let's take a little step back, say, three weeks ago, when I woke up with a rash on my chin. Lovely, I know. As the week drew to a close, the rash had spread so I headed out to the doctor and was given a diagnoses of exzema. Armed with new hope and a handful of medical creams I began a new week slathering medications on my face and sleeping on my back to avoid smearing it all over my pillows. Much to my disappointment the rash did not leave. Then my underarms started itching. Folks, it is not funny, especially when you're in a meeting at work and you know everyone's staring at your rash and you're trying to subtly scratch your armpits. After giving my co-workers the heebie jeebies, I decided to step my treatment up a notch. I went to see my naturopath. After a lengthy visit of questions and answers, it was agreed upon that I was what they call 'toxic'. My rash was just a symptom of a body overflowing with carcinogens.

Sometimes I wish I didn't speak before thinking but that's just what I did. I asked the doc about doing a cleanse and he thought it was a brilliant idea. So much that he immediately put together a plan for me to detoxify my rancid insides that would take no less than 21 full days. I've always wanted to do full body cleanse but I've never been able to stick to it for more than a day. What WAS I thinking!!! However, this time, it appeared I didn't really have a choice. This rash was going nowhere and beside my armpits itching like crazy, who knows what bodily orifice I'd be itching next. I wasn't even going to go there so like a trooper, I hauled my ass to the grocery store today and stocked up on food the gods meant for us to eat. I made a tidy little menu of breakfasts, lunches and dinners for the week, along with healthy snacks. My fridges and cupboards got a cleanse themselves so that when I put in all the new food, I would have nothing to tempt me during my low points of the cleanse, of which I know there will be many. I know myself too well.

The food is all stuff I love - chicken halibut, soy milk, rice, loads of vegetables, fruits, almond butters, cashews and other healthy fats. There's a hitch... isn't there always! No alcohol, tobacco or cafeine. I'm not sure which of three will be harder to live without but right at this moment, I'm tempted to say it will be coffee. I'm not caffeine addicted but I salivate every morning as my coffee brews, inhaling it's rich scent, tasting it even before I take my first sip. My green tea is stocked up but I did buy decaf coffee. Just to get me through the initial weaning period.

I have one more day to enjoy my freedom to eat whatever I choose. I've already ate a huge burger last night, gorged on pancake and eggs this morning, ate donuts for lunch and chinese food for dinner. Let's just say although I'm satisfied, I feel full and clogged now. Which should leave me in a much better mindset for Monday morning, when the detoxification process begins.

Why am I sharing this with you? Well, for one, I must vent my fustrations daily. Hmmm, can I write without a glass of wine next to me? We'll see. But I do want you to experience this with me, come with me as I journey through different metaphysical phases and physical changes. As I begin to feed my overextended stomache with nature's wild bounty, my goal is to turn the core of my being into a soul belly. Somehow, I have this intuitive sense that it's going to be quite a ride. So, hop on and let's get this started, before I change my mind...!